We’ve all seen these touching films where a cock and hen find each other, do this exquisitely choreographed courtship dance, and then, the happy couple flies off to build a nest together and enter a blissful monogamous relationship, in some cases, for life.  However, some recent research has revealed quite a different story.

Sneaky surveillance cameras have captured several scenes where, a hen is fastidiously arranging her nest and, while her mate is off, acquiring additional nesting material, an opportunistic cock swoops in for a quickie, and flies off before the unsuspecting mate returns.  This can be accomplished, most times, because the copulation act, in birds, is a fairly short one, so you don’t want to come back in your next life as a bird.  However, I’m sure, there have been times when the intruder was still in the nest, when the mate returned,  In this case, a scene like this might happen.

Moishe: So, what are you doing in my nest?

Abe: Well, everybody has to be someplace.

Zelda: Moishe, I’m hungry.  Go get me a worm.  Get one for Abe too.

Moishe: To hell with Abe.  He can get his own worm.

Studies have shown that, DNA samples taken from clutches of chicks have revealed that, not all of them are the progeny of the sire of the nest.   However, before you chauvenists accuse the poor hen of infidelity, what do you suppose her mate is doing while he’s out gathering nesting material?  Oh well, so much for the illusion of avian monogamy.

The preceding information was obtained at a recent birding conference we went to, where we saw this hilarious powerpoint, presented by an ornithologist from the faculty of McGill University, named Dr. Bird.  Not joking.